Obama or Romney: Who Should Get a Shot at Destroying America?

As an unaffiliated, independent voter, it is a very confusing time for me. The 2012 presidential election is here and I am being pulled in two different directions. On the one hand, I have Barack Obama, our current president who came into office with big plans to fix the country. On the other hand, I have […]

Hit Me Up, Romney. Your Future VP is Here…

Dear Mitt Romney, With the election just four months away, its time to pick your vice president. I have heard a lot of names thrown around like Paul Ryan (No good. Two first names.), David Petraeus (Serious danger of misspelling last name on campaign materials), and Chris Christy (Sounds like a superhero alter ego) amongst […]

Wife Talk: The Importance of Politics and Sports

There are two things that people seem to care about more than they should: politics and sports. You could tack on eating if you wanted to add a third, but we will just stick with two. Sometimes, though, these two subjects combine, creating the perfect storm of anger and frustration. Athletes will suddenly be in […]

A Letter To Mitt Romney

Dear Mitt Romney, I want to start things off by saying congratulations to you. You are now officially the Republican presidential candidate! By earning the Republican nomination for president, you have joined the illustrious ranks of former nominees such as Alf Landon, Wendell Willkie, John C. Fremont, and Thomas E. Dewey. Clearly, with this nomination, […]

Your Guide to Super Tuesday Elections

All across America, the energy is palpable. There is electricity in the air. Metaphorically, of course, because if there was literally electricity in the air, we would all be wearing rubber suits to avoid death. As I’m typing this, I can barely get the words out. I am so excited, my hands are trembling. IT’S […]

Cat Congressional Candidate Claws Competitors, Also Inspires a Really Neat Alliteration

For those who haven’t heard yet, 2012 is an election year. That means more of the same. Republicans will call Democrats elitist. Democrats will call Republicans fat cats. Independent parties will say mildly crazy stuff with no hope of ever actually winning an election. It all gets very boring after a while. There are only […]

Mitt Romney Speaks French, Hates America

Warning: The following is to be read in a sarcastic tone. If you at any point in time find yourself agreeing with anything written here, please go sit in a dark room and think long and hard about your life. Just like most of America, I have been eagerly awaiting the 2012 presidential election. Our […]

Presidential Debates: It’s Like the Rich White Guy Olympics

Every four years, a group of individuals dust off their nicest suits, grab their best tie (red or blue, preferably) and begin spouting off gibberish much to the delight of the entire country. They visit state fairs and eat a great amount of fried foods. They talk about the “Spirit of America,” which, I am […]

Goodie! A Brand New Shiny American Dream

There was time when the United States of America was flooded with people searching for the American Dream. They would sail for weeks to get here so that they could get a piece of the sweet action that we Americans had. That was a different time, though. We had jobs and money back then. Now […]

Campaigning For President: Only Slightly More Fun Than a Shark Attack

  Warning: The following post is about American politics. If you are from a foreign land you may not care about what is said here. If you are from America, you may not care either, but I can call you unpatriotic if you don’t read this, so ha.   When I was a kid, teachers […]