Take Your Time. I Get Paid Hourly.

Dear Old Navy employee, Greetings and a heartfelt salutations to you. You may remember me from a bit earlier today as I stood out quite a bit. While everyone else visiting the Old Navy today was interested in trying on armfuls of brightly colored dresses, I was the gentleman who wanted to try on a […]

Thanks For Your Birthday Wishes. Now Leave Me Alone.

Barring some unforeseen terrible happenstance, tomorrow will be my birthday. This will be my 26th one of these. I’ve been around the block, I know how this goes. To save myself time tomorrow, I would like to respond to all of the birthday wishes now. To all of those who are going to ask “So… […]

In Memoriam of Nathan’s Broken-In Khakis, 2011-2012

Nathan’s Broken-in Khakis, 1, of Kansas City, died at 7:19 a.m. on Tuesday, August 7, 2012, in a small apartment bedroom. After weeks of suffering from a problematic zipper, Broken-in Khakis went quietly as his zipper gave out for good. Found on an Old Navy bargain rack, Khakis came into Nathan’s life at just the […]

Prepare Your Fireworks, One Week Until We Start Trying To Blow Things Up!

This past weekend, I wondered by an Old Navy. Just to be clear, I am talking about the store, not a group of aged sailors. I don’t usually run in the same circles as them. Inside the store, I saw it. There, piled and stacked in the midst of pre-distressed jeans and polo shirts, sat […]