“Jersey Shore” Goes To That Great Unwatchable Cable Channel in the Sky

Tragic news has been circulating the internet for the past few days. After what seems like decades, America’s premier example of why the rest of the world hates us is coming to an end. MTV is canceling “Jersey Shore.” I would like to take a second to pay honor to the greatest Americans since our […]

Little Leaguers: A Modern Day Scourge to Society

Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about children. They are tiny little Tasmanian devils destroying everything that gets in the path of their sticky, germ-infested fingers. They are the neediest things on the planet, always insisting that they are “hungry” or “need to go to the bathroom.” They do not bring a single […]

Deceit, Thy Name is House Hunters

Before today’s post begins, I would like to warn you, the reader, of the content that is about to follow. If you are a person who is insistent that the world is filled with only the best things, that deep down everything is perfect and everything is as it seems, then the following post may […]

You Survived a Nail Through Your Heart? I Had a Nasty Hangnail. Call it a Draw…

I know it’s hard to believe, but I am not the toughest guy you’ll ever meet. I have never been in a fist fight or, for that matter, any other sort of body part fight. I don’t have any tattoos of flaming skulls or barbed wire, the unanimous choice for toughest type of wire. I […]

Dear Nathan

I’m such an incredibly selfless person. It’s one of my best attributes, falling just behind my extreme modesty and rugged good looks. Since I am so selfless, I like to take a second every now and again to help out those who can’t help themselves. There are literally dozens of people every year who have […]