The National Museum of Suburban History: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Living in the suburbs has its benefits. It’s safe to walk around the neighborhood. Every house looks the same, so there is very little reason to feel jealous of your neighbor’s home. It’s always easy to find a Starbucks since there are roughly sixteen per square mile. Of course this stability leads to one thing. […]

A Boy and His Toilet: Best Friends Forever

In 1996, a great fad took overAmerica. It was bigger than the Beatles, more important than any cultural item had ever been. That year, McDonalds took a break from throwing their usual cheap plastic toys into happy meals and took on one of the biggest fads of all time- the Beanie Baby. I desperately wanted […]

Nathan Sell’s Out

Anyone who grew up in the nineties, listened to music in the nineties or was even alive and conscious in nineties has heard of the Goo Goo Dolls. The band is a quintessential nineties band, releasing such hits as “Iris,” a song that everyone has heard at least once, whether they know it or not. […]

New Record To Beat: 25,000 Big Macs

I don’t remember my first trip to McDonalds. There is a very specific reason for that: I feel nothing about McDonalds. I don’t hate it, I don’t love it, I nothing it. In fact, the best way to describe McDonalds is with a quick “meh.” And, yes, that is to be said in the middle […]

The Airlines Don’t Know Who They’re Messing With…

This is the last straw. I suddenly am able to understand how Patrick Henry felt when he screamed “Give liberty or make me deaf!” (I think that’s right. I didn’t pay much attention in school). Today, though, airlines have made a powerful enemy. I can’t stand it anymore. First, they started charging everyone luggage fees […]

McDonalds Happy to Host McWeddings for McCouples, Still Makes Gross Food

There is a brand new wrinkle in the argument about the sanctity of marriage, and it has nothing to do with politics. It does have to do with the Hamburglar. The newest fad in Hong Kong are weddings in McDonalds. Yes, I do mean McDonalds, the home of the McChicken, the cause of making you […]