Real Ladies Run in Skirts

Dear lady running down the street, Congratulations on your attempts at physical fitness. You and your friend were really giving a full 110% out there today. That’s a pretty big deal because that’s 10% more than is physically possible to give. I will say, though, I am concerned. I watched the two of you run […]

“My Life as a Gym-Rat,” aka “I Paid Money to Sweat in a Room Full of Strangers?”

As I type this, I can feel my entire torso tensing up. I feel tired and just want to lie down and avoid moving. I guess that’s what I get for trying to be healthy. My healthful efforts began as an earnest attempt at avoiding becoming a giant tub of lard. When you spend most […]

Help! My Booger is Trying to Kill Me!

Warning: The following post is real highbrow writing. If you aren’t prepped for a piece of literature that should be read on Masterpiece Theater, this may not be the post for you. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been out of shape. I’ve never been to the point of huffing and wheezing as I make […]

Nathan Vs. The Treadmill: A Battle For The Ages

I have never fully understood exercising. I do know the general purpose, but the idea seems odd to me. Why would I run if nothing is chasing me? What part of seeing a heavy piece of metal makes a person go, “I will lift that, and I will lift it for 5 sets of ten” […]