Pesky Leftover Halloween Candy: A Modern Day Plague

Halloween is an odd time of year. 364 days of the year it is unacceptable for a person to dress up like  a corpse and gorge themselves on all sorts of sweets, taking time between bites of their 3 Musketeers to scare random people. People go door to door looking for unhealthy desserts, an act […]

Reese’s Egg Day!

Easter is a magical time. There are very few holidays that involve mammals laying candy filled eggs and even fewer where biting the heads off of chocolate rabbits are considered acceptable. Throughout the Easter season, stores are inundated with adorable candy. Marshmallow peeps and egg shaped everything are there at every turn. Tiny chocolate eggs […]

Your Ultimate Guide To Halloween

Ladies and gentlemen: the clock is ticking. You can feel the energy in the air. People are rushing hither and thither, preparing. In mere days, Halloween will have arrived. The word “Halloween” was first used in the 16th century. It had something to do with demons and the underworld and souls of the dead and […]

The Candy Store Fiasco 2: Havana Nights

For those who did not read my blog yesterday, you will be very lost. Before you go on to what is certain to be a rousing and incredibly entertaining post, please go back and read. We’ll wait.           Okay. Everybody should be caught up. We can continue.   I slowly made […]

The Candy Store Fiasco

When one moves to a new place there are a few important things to locate. You should know where your local hospital is. You need to find a grocery store because the alternative to that is either hunting or gathering, neither of which I would be good at, or starving to death. Most importantly, though, […]

Say It Ain’t So, Mike and Ike

It’s a dark day. With unemployment still high and a global recession looming, it seemed impossible for things to get worse. Then North Korea announced it had tested a long-range missile, putting the entire world in jeopardy. Then that missile broke apart in the air, causing those North Koreans to become angrier, thus more likely […]

Hard Candy: A Relationship Roadblock

There comes a time in every relationship when you are forced to step back, take a look at the rapport you have developed, and see whether you have a great bond or whether you have built a relationship that is destined to be filled with disappointment and inevitable agony. Everyone must face the harsh truths […]

My Wife, the Old Lady

The following post is not only approved by my wife, but was actually suggested by her. Women, don’t get mad at me. It’s all her doing.   As a young lad, I remember learning about life expectancy. I was horrified. As a male, I was doomed to depart this life long before my female peers. […]

Weekly List: The Best Things About Valentine’s Day

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. This, of course, means that you will be forced to hear many lonely single people complain. No need to worry, though. I have come up with a list of the best things about Valentine’s Day to combat their holiday negativity. This will allow you to spread the joy that is Valentine’s. […]