Thanks For Your Birthday Wishes. Now Leave Me Alone.

Barring some unforeseen terrible happenstance, tomorrow will be my birthday. This will be my 26th one of these. I’ve been around the block, I know how this goes. To save myself time tomorrow, I would like to respond to all of the birthday wishes now. To all of those who are going to ask “So… […]

My Wife’s Birthday

In honor of my wife’s birthday, I have written an extra special haiku just for her. I hope ancient Japanese forms of poetry count as a gift.     My Wife’s Birthday Happy Birthday, wife of mine Cake and candles and…. uh…..gifts… It’s the thought that counts? Related Articles Piece of Cake: Why Cakes are […]

Happy Birthday, From Your Facebook Friends

When I woke up this morning, it seemed like just any average day. The floor still squeaked, my shower was still very moist, my dog was still sleeping in a puddle of her own slobber. Nothing seemed special in any way. Then, I took a second to glance at my phone. What I saw was […]

Ready to Use Patio Furniture, Some Assembly Required

I have always fancied myself good at puzzles. Sudoku’s? I’m a master. Crosswords? What’s a five letter word for “an action Nathan employs against even the most difficult crosswords?” (Crush) There is a type of puzzle, though, that is more challenging than any other. A puzzle so devious that the very sight of it is […]

It Sucks to Grow Up: The Birthday Edition

Most nightmares cannot come true. It’s impossible. The odds of the shark from Jaws chasing you down the street while you are trying to find your pants so you can get to your advanced Sociology final, a class you’ve never even been to, by the way, are very slim. There is one nightmare that people […]