Today, I am in a foul mood.
I wish I knew why, but I have no clue. It just sort of happened. I woke up today, got out of bed, and said to myself, “Everything in the world is awful, people are the worst, and I wish that they would all go away.”
While in the shower, I found myself very annoyed with the design of my body wash’s bottle. My cereal was a bit stale. On the drive to work, I was silently fuming at the individual that I thought did not have their blinker on long enough before changing lanes. My coffee was bad and there also was not enough of it.
As I walked through the halls at work today, all I heard was speed-metal in my head. The poor gentleman who tried to converse about the weather on the elevator received what I imagine was a very curt response. The coffee there was also very bad and whomever had used the pot left did not leave enough for me to fill my mug all the way to the top.
On days like this, I am fairly certain there is nothing that would put me in better mood. If a parade featuring only adorable puppies and people who handed me candy was held right before I was granted any wish I wanted, and yes I could wish for more wishes, I would still stand there watching the First Annual Nathan Day Puppy and Candy Parade Extravaganza with a scowl on my face. See, the candy is a bit stale and the puppies just keep stopping to lick themselves. Worst parade ever.
I tried to think of ways to cheer myself up. I turned on the happiest music I had. Unfortunately, it turns out I tend to prefer music that has a severely dreary and depressing tone to it. I had no happy music. Each song contained less joy than the last. It was as if I was listening to a radio station programmed by a depressed college student after a breakup.
What else makes me happy? I am pretty certain watching TV at work is frowned upon, so any number of sitcoms that bring a smile to my face are out. I also am not allowed to take a nap. Cake always puts me in a good mood, but there is no cake today. I guess I could grab a terrible snack out of the vending machine, but that is hardly the same. As it turns out, there is very little at work that can turn a bad mood into a good one.
I have heard that sometimes when you are in a bad mood, a hug helps. Now, I like my coworkers very much, but I am fairly certain that if any of them were to give me a hug, I would not feel happier, just more confused and uncomfortable.
I think the only option to correct this would be to go back home, get back in bed, and try again. Or, like I said, cake. Cake can really work miracles.