I do not have a nickname.
This is not by choice. In 26 years on this planet, I have just never had one for some reason. I watch all of the nicknamed individuals frolic about with their cool pseudonyms and I feel great envy.
Unable to take it anymore, I have created a list of acceptable nicknames. It is my goal to make one of these stick:
-Lord Nathan, Archduke of Canterbury
-The Adequate Bambino
-Jay-Z (This one may already be taken. I’ll do some research and find out.)
-Tons of Fun
-Really anything with the word “Dynamite” would be good.
-El tipo muy fuerte, que es muy bien parecido.
Someday, God willing, one of these will be on my tombstone.