Louis Farrakhan and I Agree On One Thing: Let’s Get a Peak At Area 51

My new UFO buddy, Big L.

For decades, a mystery has set in the middle of the Nevada desert. Amidst the sand and the rest of the sand (There is not a lot out there) sits a secret government facility called Area 51. The secrets confined into this zone are known by only a few men. Sure, there is a great deal of speculation that the government has hidden away unknown amounts of alien artifacts from human consumption, but who really knows.

If Louis Farrakhan has his way, everyone will.

In a sermon last month, Farrakhan had a very important message:

“President Barack Obama, call the scientists. Open up Area 51 to the scientists to the world, because you America are the leader that Allah God has raised and made you powerful that he might make himself known through you,” Farrakhan said. “And if America calls the scientists of the earth to such place, they will respond.”

Now, I do not normally agree with Louis Farrakhan, particularly when he says that “White people are potential humans- they haven’t evolved yet.” I am not a potential human being, sir. I am a genuine full-fledged human being, at least according to the definition of “human being.” In this case, though, I wholeheartedly agree with Big L. I also think a great nickname for him would be Big L, but that is a conversation for another time.

Yes, I am completely behind Big L here. After years of waiting, I think we deserve it. I mean, we have listened to 20 million Healthcare.gov commercials. The least Barack Obama could do for us is to unveil the mysteries of Area 51.

There are so many questions that could be answered if the president would just listen to us. What do aliens look like? What are they like? Are they nice like ALF or not so nice like that one who burst out of a chest in “Alien”? Could I have an alien for a best friend or would his desire to destroy mankind and take over the planet prevent that? Also, knowing that humans are doing their best to destroy the planet, would aliens view this as a nice fixer-upper planet at this point?

I personally would like to see how accurate the film “Independence Day” really is. The only thing I know to be true from that movie is that Will Smith would be the best person to be around if there really was an alien attack. If he was unable to destroy them, he would definitely charm the crap out of the space jerks who want to destroy us. Outside of that, I have no idea what to believe when I watch that movie.

Big L is interested in the technology hidden there. According to him, the government has been hiding a UFO called the Mother Wheel. According to the New Yorker, it is a “heavily armed spaceship the size of a city that will rain destruction upon white America, but save those who embrace the Nation of Islam.” While I certainly hope he is wrong, particularly that raining destruction bit, it sure would be interesting to find out.

So, Barack, let’s get this done. The worst thing that could possibly happen is the aliens get mad that you have unveiled their secrets and they declare war on the Earth, destroying the planet with their advanced weaponry systems and leaving nothing more than a pile of rubble in the place that used to house our civilizations.

Also, that raining of destruction on white America thing would be pretty bad for me.


9 thoughts on “Louis Farrakhan and I Agree On One Thing: Let’s Get a Peak At Area 51

  1. At least it would be just white America. Every other country will be fine. No, you can’t come to Australia. We apparently don’t like refugees and um… crazy Aunt Helga is visiting, we don’t have enough spare beds… crap I think I left the iron on…


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