In the world of blogging, there are very few awards you can win. You could win a Weblog award, though I would probably disqualify myself from that competition on the basis that a winning blog most likely needs a great number, or at least a fair number, of people reading it to have a shot at that award. Outside of that, all you can hope for is peer recognition.
That is why I was pleasantly surprised to receive an “award” from Blogged Artistry. I was given the highly coveted “Sunshine Blogger Award” yesterday. I am extremely grateful for this award and hope to I will serve the office of Sunshine Blogger admirably. Granted, this award is more of like a chain letter than an actual award, but beggars cannot be choosers.
Actually, on second thought beggars can be choosers if they want. I recall a time when my wife presented a man begging outside of a restaurant with food and he looked at her with a look of disgust that would make it seem as if she had taken his money from him, called him a variety of cruel names, then, for good measure, had farted on him as she walked away. The phrase really should be “beggars cannot be choosers if they want to be successful at begging, but if not they can feel free to be choosers.”
I seem to have digressed.
The rules of the “award” are as follows:
- Display the award on your blog. It is up top, so consider it done.
- Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger(s) who awarded you. This has also been completed. I am on such a roll.
- Present 10 deserving bloggers with the award – “who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere.” For this, please see the bottom of the post.
- Link your awardees in the post.
- Write 10 interesting things about you
First, I will present 10 interesting facts about myself. You might want to sit down for this because these facts are so interesting you may not be able to handle it.
1. In 1928, a young dairy farmer working for Milton S. Hershey was struck with a brainstorm. What came out of it would go down in history as the greatest single invention in the history of candy. This man, Harry Burnett Reese, took a bit of peanut butter, coated it in chocolate, and just like that Reese’s cups were born. What people do not know is that H.B. Reese was my grandfather.
That’s right. I am the heir to the Reese’s cup fortune.
2. When I am coming down with a cold, there is a foolproof remedy that I always follow. As soon as I feel that fateful tickle inside my nose, I immediately head to my nearest supermarket and purchase a carton of orange juice. Then I drink all of it. Every last drop.
You may be saying “Nathan, that’s just taking a huge dose of Vitamin C. This is what Emergen-C is for. You’re just a big dummy.” You would be right, but orange juice is far more delicious than Emergen-C, so orange juice wins. And no, I am not a dummy.
3. When I worked in a restaurant after college, I had the privilege of serving Billie Joe Armstrong from the band Green Day. He ordered a house salad and Diet Coke. I did not point out to him that a house salad and a Diet Coke is not a meal befitting a rock star. I have no idea what a rock star should eat, but I am fairly certain it does not contain leafy greens.
4. I am President Barack Obama’s Secretary of Worthless Affairs. This is a cabinet position I have appointed myself. He has not called me yet, but at some point he will need to know who starred as Dr. Johnny Fever in the sitcom “WKRP in Cincinnati.” When the time comes, I will gladly let him know it was Howard Hesseman. I would like to see the other cabinet members recall worthless information like that.
5. While I will eat just about anything, I will not eat beats or peas. They are the worst things that human beings have ever decided to put into their mouths. There is nothing on this planet worse than those foods. If Adolph Hitler were to be a food, I am fairly certain he would have been one of these two foods. I know that if a historian would look into, nearly every atrocity since time began can be traced back to these foods. I hear that the reason the band on the Titanic continued to play instead of trying to be rescued was that they saw no point in living in a world where people continue to consume these foods.
No, I am not overstating this.
6. As a child, I was struck with inspiration after shoveling sugary cereal into my face-hole while watching Saturday morning cartoons. I went into the kitchen, peeled a banana, then placed that peel on the ground and tried to slip on it. What I learned is that banana peels are not as slippery as cartoons make them out to be. I also learned that your mother will not be pleased to find smeared banana bits all over her kitchen floor and that she will let you know in no uncertain terms that you should not try to slip on food in the house.
7. In elementary school, I invented a device that would allow my pet rabbit to feed himself by simply hitting a lever with his tiny rabbit foot. This invention would have worked perfectly had my pet rabbit been interested in learning to use the lever. Instead, he would wait for me to push the lever for his food.
I guess a better way of describing this is that I invented a device that feeds a rabbit in much the same way that scooping food into a bowl would have.
8. At a petting zoo, I was once spit on by a llama. I was just gently petting him, when he reared back and hocked a giant llama loogie right into my face. I thought about spitting back at him, but I did not want to start an all-out loogie war with an unreasonable animal like that. This is why, to this day, I have no interest in owning a pet llama.
9. While at Harvard, I came up with a brilliant idea. I gathered up a few of my friends and we began to code an intricate computer program that would allow people to find friends and speak to them through an internet based social media platform. Soon afterwards, my friends began to feel that they were entitled to more of our project than we had initially agreed upon. I spent the next few years in court, fighting off the greedy advances of my former director of business aspects and two twins who insist that they had created the idea in the first place. Then Jesse Eisenberg played me in a movie.
10. I own five hats.
Some of these interesting facts may not be true, but I will let you figure out which ones I am referring to.
Now onto the 10 deserving bloggers. If you do not see your name here, it does not mean I do not feel that you are undeserving. Please do not be disappointed.
And with that, I have accepted the award. I do expect congratulatory gifts from anyone who reads this. Gift cards are nice.