Meggings: Because There Is Nothing Men Want More Than to Wear Spandex

As I am often reminded in my life, I am not a fashion expert. I do not understand many things about clothing. For example, why do I have a little tiny pocket inside the pocket of my pants? It seems unnecessary to have a pocket in a pocket. Maybe if I had two coins that just couldn’t get along…

As confusing as a pocket within a pocket within a pocket can be, there is something much more confusing. Something that takes everything I have ever thought about clothing and turns it upside down.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present…

Meggings! Via the Huffington Post:

In fashion, it’s all about the next big thing. For men, that thing is “meggings.”

…Celebrities such as Justin Bieber, Russell Brand and Lenny Kravtiz have each already worn meggings, according to Business Insider. Uniqlo, Barneys and Nordstrom have stocked their shelves with the tights for men.

I guess it was just a matter of time until this happened. First we had skinny jeans. Then we had very skinny jeans. Now everyone is supposed to squeeze into spandex and pretend that they are wearing real pants.

I would assume the meeting for this idea went something like this:

“Hey, so have you seen the stuff women wear?”

“Yeah, Joe. I sure have. Man it looks uncomfortable.”

“You aren’t kidding! The shoes and they have everything so tight!”

“You know what would be great?”

“What?”

“We should get some guys together and tell them that all guys are wearing tights now.”

“Why?”

“You know… for fun…”

The next step is for thousands of people to consciously think to themselves “Hey! I have spent my entire life being comfortable. I have always wondered what it would be like to feel like a boa constrictor was slowly squeezing the life out of my lower half, though…”

Before long you have people of questionable gender gallivanting about in these making other people think that they are great. I mean, Justin Bieber was able to convince the world he was a talented male singer. How difficult could it be to get a bunch of guys to wear spandex?

This makes me think, though, that the clothing designers have been missing an obvious market. Why do they keep wasting time designing new clothes? All they need to do is recycle the female designs into male designs. It’s only a matter of time until the men’s section is littered with leopard-print mini dresses. And yes, Bieber is wearing one.

I do have to congratulate the men who wear these, though. It takes a great deal of bravery. I mean, put a pair of those on and suddenly everyone can see your chicken legs. Believe me, their laughing too. Not only are they laughing at your legs, but you need to remember that when you wear those, you might as well be naked. Women can see everything.

I do mean everything.

If that doesn’t keep their sales down, I don’t think anything will.

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27 thoughts on “Meggings: Because There Is Nothing Men Want More Than to Wear Spandex

  1. Reblogged this on Christopher De Voss and commented:
    Reblog Thursday I hope you had a good Christmas…although Christmas was on a Tuesday…so I guess it wasn’t that good for you…but now it’s two days after Christmas and you get to shine like the super star you are! And speaking of shining like a super star, after reading this article on meggings, I can’t wait to run to my favorite Target and pick up a pair! After I get the twigs and berries situated, and a nice polo shirt to complete the outfit, I will head out to Motorcycle bar and see what the guys think. If you don’t hear from me again, well I guess you will know what the guys think.

    Like

  2. sTitch says yes to male leggings, allow me to tell you a story;

    On the 28th of October 2012 two young city workers wore ill fitting female leggings to a fancy dress party in north London. These two individuals alongside another mutual friend have now tasked themselves with designing, manufacturing and selling male leggings to the fashion conscious male.

    Head to http://www.stitchleggings.com to find out more.

    Like

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