Dear Justin Bieber,
Congratulations on your big win at the American Music Awards tonight. Winning “Favorite Musical Artist” is the most valuable award a musician can win if we aren’t counting a Grammy. A Grammy is a much bigger deal.
I did not see it myself. I tend to not watch awards shows like this. They are often filled with musical performances like this:
This is something that seems more appropriate in a terrible nightmare than on a music show. Plus the music is usually very poor.
Since I was not watching the awards show, though, I missed something very important. In your speech you said, “This is for all the haters who thought I’d be around for 1, 2 years.”
From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for thanking me. It means a lot to know that all of my ridiculing has not been in vain. It is great to know that all of the time and effort I spent on this has finally been recognized by my peers or whatever you would be in relation to me.
It seems like just yesterday I was making fun of the lyrics to “Baby.” We’ve watched you grow from a young preteen boy who, despite his looks, was actually 16 into a strapping preteen boy who, despite his looks, is actually 18. We’ve come so far together and, as you said in your speech, you may be around “for a very long time.”
Just out of curiosity, though, I was wondering if you knew how much longer you would be sticking around. Like, another year or what?
That’s not the point. You don’t have to make any major decisions about your retirement now… though IF you wanted to, I would be okay with that. No, tonight is your night to celebrate. You should go out and have a great time. Grab your friends and you guys close down that Chuck E. Cheese. You deserve it.
But seriously, like, two more years at the most, right?
Forever your muse,