Real Ladies Run in Skirts

English: An A-line skirt, with top.

Not running attire (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear lady running down the street,

Congratulations on your attempts at physical fitness. You and your friend were really giving a full 110% out there today. That’s a pretty big deal because that’s 10% more than is physically possible to give.

I will say, though, I am concerned. I watched the two of you run by and something seemed off. Your friend was pumping away, tearing up that hill in her running shorts. She looked like an athlete out there. You were no slouch either, keeping up with her every step. There was a bit of an issue though.

You were wearing a skirt.

Now, I’m no expert in workout fashion. I have not watched a great deal of running fashion shows and I don’t know for sure what the proper attire is for this type of activity. I do feel, however, that a skirt is absolutely the least proper attire for running.

Don’t get me wrong. There are times when it is acceptable to run in a skirt. For instance, let’s say there is a maniac with a chainsaw chasing you. I do not expect you to take time out of your busy fleeing schedule to change clothing. That would be unreasonable of me. You would have to be carrying these shorts around with you constantly just in case this exact scenario was to arise, not to mention the practicality of finding a place to change. Plus, he would probably not be kind enough to let you take a second to prepare to run. Homicidal maniacs are rude like that.

Since you were chatting with your friend during this run, I assume this was not the case.

Maybe you were concerned about how you look while running. I totally understand that. I mean, what if you were to meet the man of your dreams while you were out there? You have been running and sweating for a half of an hour and he looks at you, disgusted. I mean, how he could be expected to like someone who is so unladylike that she wears shorts for running is beyond me. Everybody knows ladies wear skirts at all times.

Personally, I am very worried that this will throw your wardrobe out of balance. Every person owns a finite amount of clothing. I would hate to think that tomorrow you get up to go to work and realize that the only garment you have left to cover your lower half is the pair of running shorts you did not wear last night. That meeting with the CEO of the company will be much more awkward if you look like you are dressed for some sort of physical activity and not for an important business meeting.

In conclusion, I hope that you are able to continue your pursuit of physical excellence without a cumbersome skirt getting in the way. If you don’t know how you should dress, just ask your friend. She seems to have it down.

Oh, one more thing. Running shoes with a skirt? I’m pretty sure that’s a major fashion faux pas, but like I said, I’m no expert.

Love,

Nathan

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12 thoughts on “Real Ladies Run in Skirts

  1. Oh Nathan, you devil, you’ve done it again. Made me laugh about something really ordinary that is. I’ve often wonderend why some women wear those little running skirts. The last thing I need is a skirt flapping around in the wind, creating drag and slowing me down. Instead, I wear compression shorts when I run, or atttempt to run. They make me feel like a sleek cheetah. Or how a cheetah would feel that wore clothes that is.

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  2. you should talk to the lady at my crossfit, too. running, at least, doesn’t really risk exposure in an unladylike way. that skirt made of exercisey material is kind of risky, though, if you’re going to be doing squats.

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