As a self-admitted sports nerd, I am very willing to watch most sports. Baseball, football, basketball are all consumed by me without hesitation. I have even watched sports I don’t really like (I’m talking to you, soccer) just because they are on. There is one, though, that I will never, ever, under any circumstance be bored enough to watch.
I turned on the TV today for the tail end of a golf tournament. It was one of the least exciting things I have ever seen. Just so you can experience the excitement that I witnessed today, I would like to present a reenactment of the three minutes that golf was on my TV:
Rory Mcilroy has a chance to win here at the Deutsche Bank Championship. He lines up his putt.
He continues to line up his putt.
Mcilroy putts the ball.
The ball goes in the hole. So Rory Mcilroy will win.
Then I remembered that remote controls can change the channel on a TV. I found something much better to watch that did not involve a play-by-play of a man thinking about whether or not he might possibly be able to maybe get a ball into a hole that is about six feet away.
I hope that we are all sharing the same level of boredom right now. If so, I have united the world. I deserve some sort of award for that.
Not a trophy for the Deutsche Bank Championship, though. That award sounds made-up and stupid.
- McIlroy holds on to win Deutsche Bank Championship (heraldnews.com)
- McIlroy Shoots Another 65 to Take Lead (abcnews.go.com)