Thanks For Making Me Feel Inadequate, “Hunger Games”

The Hunger Games (film)

The Hunger Games (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Having watched “The Hunger Games” for the first time tonight, I am very disturbed. Not by the violence and killing. In movies these days, that seems pretty par for the course. No, the movie had me worried.

If I am ever in a killing contest, I am in big trouble.

Until watching the movie, I did not know that a contest like this was possible. I realized there are a number of skills I have not developed for this particular “game.” For the foreseeable future, I will be working on the following:

Weapon Skills: I can not shoot a bow and arrow. I am not good with a knife. In fact, my use of any weapon will almost always be bad. If, however, they allow us to use sporks, I may be okay.

No one can kill with a spork like I can.

Competitive Spirit: I have never been a very competitive person. Maybe my competitive spirit would pop up when my life is on the line. More likely, though, I would end up wondering about the woods and hoping the game was over.

Running: In “The Hunger Games,” people run. A lot. Everywhere. All of the time. I currently run nowhere ever. I did jog up stairs today, but I was a little winded at the end of it and I’m pretty sure it was not nearly as physically demanding as sprinting through the woods with a giant dog-like creature chasing me.

Hiding: I have an infamously short attention span. I would be painted like a rock for a total of 10 minutes before I stood up and immediately took a knife to the jugular.

My Willingness to End a Human Life: This seems like the toughest part. I guess I would just have to imagine that instead of people, I was killing giant, person sized marshmallow Peeps.

I am great at murdering marshmallow chicks.

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8 thoughts on “Thanks For Making Me Feel Inadequate, “Hunger Games”

  1. Bluntly, you can thank society for teaching you skills that only work in society.

    I watched The Hunger Games and I do think anyone has the ability to be “competitive”. In terms of life or death, it’s a polar choice and the sanest person would pick life at all cost.

    A spork isn’t so bad, you might have to think outside of the box to get more uses in but a spork could be handy.

    I haven’t killed a human being (yet), but if it came down to a life preservation impulse I wouldn’t hesitate. I guess we would have to be in that position where we would have to choose to kill or not to kill.

    You should read the series, you think that was a lot of running and stuff? That was just a quarter of the book.

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  2. Haha. Your spork comment reminded me of the YouTube clip I once watched called the horribly slow murderer with the extremely inefficient weapon..

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  3. I actually really liked the books. This surprised me as I haven’t latched on to any vampire wizard tween bandwagons before. That being said, I was mostly disappointed to learn that I could never, ever compete in the games. I have a thing about running only if the path leads to snacks… and only if those snacks are Pop Tarts.

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  4. Pingback: Adventure between rain and snow in New Zealand | The nomad experiment

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