In Memoriam of Nathan’s Broken-In Khakis, 2011-2012


Nathan’s Broken-in Khakis, 1, of Kansas City, died at 7:19 a.m. on Tuesday, August 7, 2012, in a small apartment bedroom. After weeks of suffering from a problematic zipper, Broken-in Khakis went quietly as his zipper gave out for good.

Found on an Old Navy bargain rack, Khakis came into Nathan’s life at just the right time. Needing a good pair of pants but being the cheap dope that he is, Khakis were there at just the right time.

Made of 100% cotton, Khakis brought a great deal of joy to Nathan’s life. They not only did their job of covering his naughty bits, but they willingly offered up their pockets for storage of a variety of things from keys to cell phones to receipts that probably should have been thrown away but for some reason were not..

Survivors include Button-up Denim Shirt, Button-up White Dress Shirt, Brown Argyle Socks and many other shirts that were not brown because brown with tan looks really bad and Nathan would be ridiculed by his wife and others for dressing so terribly.

Khakis are also preceded in death by Dark Brown Pants and Slightly Less Dark Pants.

Funeral was held shortly afterward as Nathan bought and changed into a different pair of pants. They were from Wal-Mart and he did not care for them, but they were super cheap. Burial was in a Wal-Mart trashcan, but, you know, like a really noble trash can.


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