Once again, vacation, you have come and gone.
After a week of relaxation, fun, and Moon Pies, I will be returning to the rat race of everyday life. There will be no more sleeping late or doing whatever I want. I will have to go back to paying bills and driving to work and grooming.
The clock is showing only a couple of hours until I head to bed, preparing to wake up tomorrow. I will shower and get dressed and head to work. Nothing against my job, but it is not nearly as enjoyable as watching SportsCenter and wondering if there is a record store nearby that I can check out.
There is so much I want to say to you, vacation.
We had some great times. Remember seeing the Atlanta Braves play? Or how about the time on the streets of Nashville, listening to people butcher country songs that I thought could not get any worse? Then there was the tour of the Coca Cola museum and the world of soda flavors, 85% of which tasted like a medicine you would give your dog. What a grand time we had.
Then there were the dark times. I will not soon forget the frozen yogurt place that tried to tell me I had nearly a pound of frozen yogurt in my little cup. I did not and it was a lie. I do not care how many fruit flavored tapioca balls I put on top, it did not add up to that much. I mean, who are they kidding? What a scam. And what kind of name is Yogurt Mountain anyway? No one would want to go to a mountain made of yogurt. It would be sticky and very unpleasant. Plus, when the sun came out, it would start to smell terrible.
I seem to have gotten off track.
The point is, vacation, I will miss you. I will miss you a lot.
I want to convince myself you are not that great. I would love to say that I will not miss you and that vacations like yourself are overrated. As good of a liar as I am, even I cannot pull that off. That would be like saying Yogurt Mountain is the fairest of all frozen yogurt places. We all know that is not true because it is run by a bunch of crooks who cannot work a scale properly. Plus, they do not even have good fruit flavors. It is all “apple pie” or “birthday cake.” Well, sometimes I want a nice mango frozen yogurt. I mean, come on!
Sorry. It seems to have happened again.
I guess for now, vacation, I will have to bid you adieu. I will see you again someday. For now, though, I have to leave you behind and head back into the real world. It is not ideal, but at least no one ever tries to overcharge me for frozen yogurt there.
I guess that is what they call finding the silver lining.