The Ultimate Résumé

Getting a job is hard these days. Everyone seems to be on the hunt for employment and that means that to get your dream job (Space Cowboy/ Unicorn Trainer), you will be up against some pretty stiff competition.

With this much competition, one must have a resume that sticks out and gets them that interview that they so desperately need. Fortunately for you, I have created the ultimate résumé. You are guaranteed* to get a job with this:

 

*You are not really guaranteed anything. Actually, using this resume will pretty much guarantee that you do NOT get the job.

Advertisements

29 thoughts on “The Ultimate Résumé

  1. Genius Nathan! I think it would get you a great creative writing job! Does that sound cheesy? Not as cheesy as that resume! Okay, I can’t think of anything cute to say tonight. Sorry. Nice post.

    Like

  2. Wait, that’s not a good resume to pass off as my own? Darn, I really should read the fine print on these things before I send off fifty copies to every advertised position in the city… 🙂

    Like

  3. Should we change the part that says “Your Name Here” … and if so, do I put my name, or YOUR name…. or the interviewer’s name? Should I spray the resume with perfume, before turning it in? If I have to electronically submit the resume, should I spray perfume on the monitor or the tower? So many choices…

    Like

  4. Now I get it. I guess many of the people who work around me got their jobs because they followed your excellent résumé as example…, or nah, I believe they even plagiarized it.

    Like

  5. This is hilarious!! I would love to see a resume like this come across my desk!!
    Can I borrow it and send it out just for poohs and giggles? 🙂

    Like

  6. Pingback: The Horror…University is OVER…WHAT NEXT? « Youth Re-ignited

This Would Be A Really Good Time To Reply...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s