One of the great parts of any professional sporting event is people watching. There is a virtual smorgasbord of people from all walks of life converging into a sea of cheering fans.
None of these are as entertaining, obnoxious, or obnoxiously entertaining as the drunk fan.
How do you honor a group that provides so much entertainment and at the same time so much frustration? I would throw a parade for them, but the marching bands would really irritate their hung over brains the next day.
To honor them, I have chosen the most soothing of all tributes: The haiku. The only way a haiku would irritate is if I screamed it at them over a heavy metal guitar riff.
To the Baseball Fans on their 15th Beer
Drunken baseball fans,
So much nonsense from your mouths.