Baseball and Public Intoxication: What a Pair of Bedfellows!

Baseball game, Manzanar Relocation Center, Cal...

Baseball game, Manzanar Relocation Center, Calif. (LOC) There were probably drunk people there. (Photo credit: The Library of Congress)

One of the great parts of any professional sporting event is people watching. There is a virtual smorgasbord of people from all walks of life converging into a sea of cheering fans.

None of these are as entertaining, obnoxious, or obnoxiously entertaining as the drunk fan.

How do you honor a group that provides so much entertainment and at the same time so much frustration? I would throw a parade for them, but the marching bands would really irritate their hung over brains the next day.

To honor them, I have chosen the most soothing of all tributes: The haiku. The only way a haiku would irritate is if I screamed it at them over a heavy metal guitar riff.

 

To the Baseball Fans on their 15th Beer

Drunken baseball fans,

So much nonsense from your mouths.

“Hissthebaaaalllllbatherr!”

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10 thoughts on “Baseball and Public Intoxication: What a Pair of Bedfellows!

  1. Love it! You are pretty good at Haiku’s, but usually they irritate me…you already knew that right? I’ll read them just for you, and this one was actually not bad. The rest of the post was great too. It might sound like I’m sucking up right now for some unknown reason, but you know I’m not right? I might be a little talkative though…

    Like

    • If it would help, I could just sit behind you and randomly scream in your ear. I would guarantee you would not be paying attention to the game if I randomly screamed, “SANDWICHES ARE GOOD, BUT NOT IF THERE IS BOLOGNA INVOLVED!!!” loudly right at your head.

      Like

  2. Heck, the only reason to go to a baseball game is to watch other people get fall-down drunk and make a complete ass of themselves. Otherwise it would just be a lot of waiting around for something to actually happen.

    Like

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