It’s a time of great uncertainty. The world is about to enter an unknown territory full of ambiguity. There is no telling whether we will come out of this valley of doubt intact and well or whether we will be crushed under the weight of whatever lies ahead.
The summer TV season is upon us.
For the past seven or eight months, I have been able to count on being entertained. I did not have to go out of my way to hunt down amusement because every night it was there waiting for me. I could just turn on the TV and be guaranteed a laugh or a thrilling mystery or one of 8,000 different television shows that involve dead bodies and all of the nastiness that comes with a rotting corpse.
I always enjoy this time. There is just so much entertainment, I almost don’t know what to do. It has made it where any second of my day that is not filled with witty banter or some sort of gunfire seems to be boring. Since I tend to have streaks of my day without either one of these, it is safe to say that TV has ruined me.
As I watch TV now, though, I notice the word “Finale” coming up a lot. For those of you who don’t speak French or Italian or German or whatever language this word comes from, it means one thing: ain’t no more TV shows coming on for a little bit. The usual entertaining fare will take a respite, being replaced with shows like “Dogs in the City” (reality show), “Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition” (reality show), and “I Bet You Can’t Smash This Wall Down With Your Face” (made up, but possibly entertaining, reality show).
As a person who views reality shows as a tool used by Satan to reign his evil terror down on all of us, or at the very least annoy us a whole lot, I am not looking forward to this time. I am fully addicted to these entertaining scripted and unrealistic programs. I know that I am bound to suffer massive withdrawals as I find myself forced to watch “Love in the Wild” (Coming to NBC Thursday, June 7th).
In the coming weeks, I will find myself with more free time than I ever thought possible. After the required two weeks of recovery from my months of television intake (“How much longer until ‘Happy Endings’ comes back? THAT long?! NOOOOOO!!!!”), I will suddenly have a large chunk of time until I find myself once again saying “We need to hurry and get home. _______ comes on at seven.”
The possibilities for this time are endless. I could finally read a book and see what all of the hoopla has been about. I could take a trip outside and experience the “fresh air” that TV characters mention from time to time. I could actually live some sort of life.
The more I think about this time without good TV programming, the more excited I get. I will be able to accomplish all of my goals in life. I will get all of my personal effects organized and learn how to play the guitar like Jack White. I will build a house of cards and, since there is nothing on TV that can possibly distract me, I will not get bored ten cards in and give up.
Or I could catch that “Dogs in the City” show. It’s about a different kind of dog whisperer, so you know that has to be great.
- Will You Watch a Makeup Reality Show? (bellasugar.com)