They say that war is Hell. While this not upheld by any Biblical scripture, people seem to be in agreement. Far and wide, people are not huge fans of war.
Since I declared war on that menace, The Hobbler, roughly 250,000 people have met their demise. Granted, none of these deaths were directly caused by our battle, but I would like to think the stress of our falling out might have kick started a few heart attacks. Maybe we’re even responsible for those few who fell from a great height. Fingers crossed.
Yes, war is a terror. I myself have spent a great deal of my day crying and reliving flashbacks. Since our war has been fought on the front lines of Twitter, each flashback lasts only 140 characters, just enough to cause my adrenaline to begin pumping and my heart to start racing.
These are the horrors of war.
No one wants peace more than me. Having lived the last 18 hours on the front lines, I long for the days of peace and harmony. I’ve written home to my wife 16 times since this fight has started. She is really sick of it, actually.
No one loves the pain that war brings people. No one except the Hobbler herself.
She has laughed diabolically at the very notion of war. It’s almost like this war is just a game to her. After all, it’s just lives we’re playing with here. No big whoop.
That’s why I must fight on. Through turmoil and disease I will continue. I can’t stop until her diabolical ways have.
Oh, this won’t be easy. The Hobbler is a very difficult opponent to defeat. Anyone who lacks scruples like her will stop at no lengths to come out on top. She will comment on this post and send me vaguely threatening Tweets. I will have no choice but to also comment on posts and reply to her Tweets until the end of time or until we get tired of doing this. Whichever one comes first.
You’re welcome, world.
- My Declaration of War (badlandsbadley.wordpress.com)