Beauty: The Ultimate Hardship

I know it's difficult, but please move past this picture of a beautiful woman and read what I wrote now. Thanks.

The internet is full of jerks. No story can be posted without a comment or two from mental defectives hoping to make themselves look cool. It’s like being on the elementary school playground, the only difference being that MOST, not ALL of the bullies still live in their parents’ house.

While every post is subject to scrutiny by a variety of people who, for some reason, think they are God’s gift to mankind, there are some that receive far too much abuse. The latest of these is an article written by British columnist and renowned hot and saucy lady, Samantha Brick.

In an editorial for the Daily Mail, a British tabloid founded by my favorite tabloid tycoon, Lord Northcliffe, Brick took a step of bravery. Many women would be afraid to talk about what she had the courage to say, let alone write it inBritain’s second most popular newspaper. Brick, though, threw social taboos out the window and made sure her voice was heard.

Brick made sure everyone knew she was beautiful.

In “There are Downsides to Looking This Pretty: Why Women Hate Me For Being Beautiful,” Brick finally brought to light the terrible life that attractive people have to endure. As a tall, blonde, Caucasian woman, Brick has dealt with the harshest of oppressions that any group in the history of mankind has ever faced.*

Now, the internet hobgoblins have set their sights on Brick. They are saying things like “that’s very conceited of you, Ms. Brick” and “Maybe the reason women hate you has more to do with the fact that you tell them you are more beautiful than them.”

What a bunch of buttheads.

While everyone else in the world is ridiculing Brick, I have her back. She spoke out for a group that, by all accounts, has never been represented fairly. The attractive are always disrespected.

I should know. I, myself, have been hated for my beauty.

As the most attractive person I know, life has never been easy. Throughout my high school and college years, I constantly found myself dateless while many of my friends had dates. Some people would try to tell me it was because of my “terrible personality” or “lack of personal hygiene,” but I knew the real reason. How can you possibly try to date someone who looks like the love child between James Dean and Ryan Gosling? You will constantly feel inferior.

In college, I remember receiving a low-grade on an Ethics paper that I was sure I had nailed. It was perfect, but instead of the 100% and a note praising my knowledge of all things ethical, I found myself with a C. Obviously, that C stood for “catastrophically attractive.” If only my teachers hadn’t hated my unparalleled beauty, I would have had a perfect 4.0.

I have never even attempted to talk my way out of a speeding ticket. It would be a waste of time. Between the sparkle in my eye and the light bouncing off of my perfectly white teeth, the police officer would be so annoyed at my physical perfection that I would be charged with obstruction of justice. He would probably tase me too, unaware that convulsions only make me hotter.

In the past, I would have been afraid to say all of this. I would have stayed in the super-hot guy closet, hiding behind a fitted cardigan and wishing that the world would all go blind so I could live my life like a normal uggo would. Those days are behind me, though, thanks to the bravery of Samantha Brick.

So Brick, stand tall. People may be saying nasty things to you. You may be ridiculed on every blog across the globe and may be a trending hashtag on Twitter. You may be called all kinds of names like conceited, self-important, proud, vain, smug, arrogant, high and mighty, stuck up, or snobbish.

That’s just because people hate you for being the ideal human form. There’s not much you can do about that aside from drastic plastic surgery. If it came to that, you would probably “accidentally” die on the operating room table.

Even plastic surgeons will hate someone who is too beautiful.

 

 

*As long as you ignore the Native Americans, Blacks, Jews, homosexuals, Christians, any group the Christians came up against during the Crusades, women, the Irish, Japanese-Americans, most African nationalities, people who lived in the Soviet Union, Mexicans living inArizona…

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20 thoughts on “Beauty: The Ultimate Hardship

  1. I think it is a mistake to ever talk about what you look like. It is all subjective anyway…I think labeling yourself is a mistake..Nathan you really need to get over yourself.

    Hahahaha!

    Like

  2. Ah, the plight of the beautiful. There’s really nothing else that can be said to all that.

    Seriously, though, that woman isn’t exactly what I’d call beautiful. Just saying…

    Like

  3. haha really cracked up at this part ‘Some people would try to tell me it was because of my “terrible personality” or “lack of personal hygiene,” but I knew the real reason’

    and ‘He would probably tase me too, unaware that convulsions only make me hotter.’

    Great post

    Like

  4. I don’t know.. it’s cliche, but beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. What one person thinks is stunning, someone else thinks is ghastly.

    And yeah, most people get kinda punchy when someone attractive goes on and on about how rough it is being so attractive.

    To me it’s like hearing the troubles of the rich.. to which I say, “get a real problem!”

    Love this post.

    Like

  5. Yeah..she really isn’t like breathtakingly beautiful..she looks like the average British female..
    She’s confident in her looks though..I’ll give her that!
    But it really is not that serious..she just sounds a little conceited..

    Like

  6. It took me a quick moment to get this, but I’m sure that’s because I was having such a hard time getting past your outstanding good looks and sparkeling personality. It isn’t easy being so darn good looking, but then again, I hear it’s not easy being green. So when you (or Ms Brick) get tired of being lovely, you can try being green. Or is that envy? Enjoy whatever… T

    Like

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