The following questions were given to me by my friend at The Ah-Ha Moments. As an attempt to give you a peak into the terrifying land that is my thought process, I have answered them as honestly as possible:
What is your favorite time of day and why?
If I were to choose, I would say my favorite time of day is 2:30. That is, after all, the time you are supposed to go to the dentist. (The answer to this question has been brought to you by Laffy Taffy. When you want your candy with a terrible joke, Laffy Taffy is there. Laffy Taffy: Have a laugh while you rot your teeth.)
If you could have one exotic pet, what would it be?
If I would to have any exotic pet, it would be a Shetland Zebra. It’s just like a regular Zebra, but way smaller.
If you had a choice between a huge house with no furniture or a small house with a ridiculous amount of furniture, what would you pick?
Based on my current living situation, it appears I have chosen small house, lots of furniture. Granted, I did not have much of a say in this situation, but I married the person who did, so I guess that counts as a choice.
What is your favorite activity to do when you are sleeping?
Silently fight for a corner of my bed’s sheets while dodging elbows and carefully attempting to balance on the edge without falling. Sleeping is, apparently, an incredibly dangerous activity.
A life like Twilight or a life like Harry Potter?
There is only one correct answer to this question. Harry Potter all the way. You get to play Quiditch and angsty vampires teens are so passé.
Who is your favorite celebrity crush?
This is a very difficult question. Since my wife reads this, I will plead the fifth.
Now that she has moved on and stopped reading, the answer is a tie between Zooey Deschanel, Anna Kendrick, and, for good measure, Edith Roosevelt. If she was good enough for Teddy, she is good enough for me.
If you could eat all the fast food you wanted and lived to be a hundred in good health, Would you? Or what if you ate healthy and lived to be a thousand years old? What would you choose?
I would eat healthy food for 500 years then switch to a fast food diet. 550 years seems like a pretty long life.
Chicken or Chicken from the Sea (It says chicken)?
Actual Chickens from the Seas.
Better Than Sex Cake or Sex on A Beach?
Cake. Always cake unless there are carrots involved
Swiss Cheese or Sharp Cheddar?
Well, this truly depends on the food. Am I having a tuna melt or a cheeseburger? What kind of crackers would this cheese be served with?
The correct answer is both.
What would you accept? Aliens that mimic Jersey Shore, or Ghosts that like to party?
I do not understand the question and I will not respond to it.
All Natural or Preservative Heaven?
All natural, but solely because of All Natural Skippy Peanut Butter. It turns out, this is the greatest peanut butter ever.
A lifetime supply of Chocolate? Or a lifetime supply of gas (for vehicles)?
Gas. You can always trade gas for chocolate, but it would probably be harder the other way around.
Finally, If you could be a zombie killer. What would your name be?
Archibald Cecil Beauregard III, Zombie killer