Man So Bored With Super Bowl That He Tried To Eat His Brother’s Ear

When a big event like the Super Bowl takes place, you are sure to hear some weird stories. After all, it is a day when 325.5 million gallons of beer is consumed. That does not exactly sound like a day full of responsible decisions. All around the country, people are more likely to break bones […]

Super Bowl XLVIII Live Blog: Would it Be Lame to Call it a Super Duper Bowl?

It’s that time of year again. The time for everyone who hasn’t already forgotten their New Year’s resolutions to eat only junk in the name of football. The time for us to all watch a bunch of overgrown men slam into each other in the name of concussions, but more importantly in the name of […]

Cheesepocalypse Surely Spells Out Doom and Utter Destruction For Humanity

Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t want to alarm or cause panic, but we are on the verge of a major disaster the likes of which the world has never seen. This calamity makes the Hindenburg look like nothing. The Titanic pales in comparison. I fear that if this disaster comes to light, the streets will […]

The Wing That Got Away

There it laid, sprawled out in the middle of the floor. There were no signs of life, not that there ever were. The splatters from the crash landing coated the area around it. By all accounts, it was a disaster. Seeing that devastation, that destruction, it’s hard to believe that just 30 seconds before that […]

Super Bowl XLVII Live Blog: The Superest Bowl In the History of Ever

Ah, the Super Bowl. Nothing is more American than this celebration of sport, gluttony and consumption. We all gather around our TV and shove massive quantities of food in our fat gobs for hours. Every year 1.2 billion chicken wings are consumed on this day. Why? Because football and poultry go hand in hand! Some […]

Super Bowl XLVI: The Best Live Blog to Ever Live

It can be very hard to keep up with all of the Super Bowl’s happenings. You might miss something while you get your fourth helping of cheese dip. What if there is a line for the bathroom? You could miss one of the most amazing, unforgettable moments in sports history while you’re trying to contain […]

Your Guide to a Life-Altering Super Bowl Party

The greatest American holiday is upon us. Super Bowl Sunday. Sure it may not be an actual holiday, but it’s definitely more important than some real holidays. What is Labor Day anyway? No one knows because no one cares about it. The Super Bowl, though, is another story. Millions of people around the entire globe, […]

Daytona 500: Slightly more exciting than watching nothing at all…

All across this grand country, the trailer parks are abuzz. The Super Bowl of auto racing has arrived. This Sunday, the Daytona 500 will be run. (Little known fact: The first Daytona 500 was run in 1845 when a young Abraham Lincoln outraced Mark Twain. He was later disqualified for using illegal shoes on his […]

You Want a Hit TV Show? Here It Is….

Attention, television executives. I have done it. After countless hours of research (or at least that’s what I call it to justify watching TV instead of helping around the house), I have come up with the perfect show. A show so big, the NFL will want to broadcast the Super Bowl AFTER it. To create […]

Is this how becoming an Old Fogie begins?

I’m becoming old and boring. Let’s be honest. EVERYONE is becoming old and boring. As you get older, the things that were fun, interesting and delightful become boring, dull, and so unbelievably obnoxious that you find your self wanting to complain about young people’s music and the height of their pants. I first thought about […]