The Republicans’ Technicolor Dream Socks

As an independent voter in America, I find myself constantly being courted by both major political parties. It is like I am the prettiest girl at the ball and everyone wants a spot on my dance card. Somehow I have ended up on the email list for both the Republican and Democrat parties. A day […]

The Official Most Important Ultimate Response to the State of the Union Address

Greetings my fellow Americans. Tonight, the President of these here United States delivered his state of the Union address. Let me begin by congratulating President Obama on being President. I know he has been president for a while now, so I guess it’s pretty rude to wait this long to congratulate him on being elected, […]

What’s More Fun Than A Filibuster? (Hint: Just About Everything)

21 hours and 19 minutes is a long time to do anything. Having the attention span of a flea like so many members of my generation, I tend to lose interest in anything after about half an hour. In fact, I can’t name one thing in the world I would be able to do for […]

Congratulations, ____________. America Is In Great Hands.

As a patriotic individual, I felt it was my duty to comment on the 2012 presidential election that took place today. Unfortunately, I could not wait to post it. They won’t know who won until, like, 9 o’clock. I will be far too tired to write about the purple mountain’s majesty or fruited plains by […]

Your Official, Genuine, For Real Up-To-Date 2012 Presidential Poll

With only two days to go before the Presidential Election Day, all eyes are on the polls as people search for the answers to the important questions. Who will have the chance to guide the United States into the coming apocalyptic future? Who will become the answer to a trivia question about former presidential candidates? […]

Don’t Worry, Sarah Palin! It’s Easy to Not Say Offensive Things!

For those who have not heard, former Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin is in some hot water. It seems that Palin took to her Facebook to say “President Obama’s shuck and jive shtick with these Benghazi lies must end…” This in itself would not be a big deal if it wasn’t for the fact that “Shuck and […]

For Those Of You Who Missed The Debate

Tonight marked the second debate between President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, his opponent in this presidential race. While voting is an important civic duty, I realize that some people might have been busy and unable to watch the debate. Fortunately, I have your back. I watched the debate this evening and have provided a […]

Paul Ryan Has Joe Biden’s Friendship Whether He Wants It Or Not

Whenever someone begins to discuss politics, it is a certainty that the conversation will drift into several different topics. Firstly, people will talk about the economy. They will say things about debt and tax rates and China. One person will say that someone who is in power has not helped the debt or tax rates […]

Obama or Romney: Who Should Get a Shot at Destroying America?

As an unaffiliated, independent voter, it is a very confusing time for me. The 2012 presidential election is here and I am being pulled in two different directions. On the one hand, I have Barack Obama, our current president who came into office with big plans to fix the country. On the other hand, I have […]

Hit Me Up, Romney. Your Future VP is Here…

Dear Mitt Romney, With the election just four months away, its time to pick your vice president. I have heard a lot of names thrown around like Paul Ryan (No good. Two first names.), David Petraeus (Serious danger of misspelling last name on campaign materials), and Chris Christy (Sounds like a superhero alter ego) amongst […]