I was going to write a nice piece about the hard-hitting news of today. We were going to discuss all of the issues from the Crimean Peninsula to the feud between Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry which is somehow big enough to warrant a spot in the middle of CNN’s homepage. It was going to […]
For those who did not read my blog yesterday, you will be very lost. Before you go on to what is certain to be a rousing and incredibly entertaining post, please go back and read. We’ll wait. Okay. Everybody should be caught up. We can continue. I slowly made […]
Attention world, It has come to my awareness that I may have given some of you people the wrong ideas about me. A person close to me told me that a person close to me said that some people close to me had some less than flattering ideas about who I am. I listened to […]
Conspiracy theories are everywhere. No matter how ridiculous these ideas, people will not let them go. People continue to insist that Elvis and Tupac are alive and well, frolicking on the beach. They thought the same about Hitler, though if he was still alive, he would be 123. Odds are his frolicking would be much […]
There are a lot of unnerving things for your wife to say to you the second you walk into a room. For instance, “Why do you have a giant leech attached to the side of your head and what is that green stuff it keeps spitting?” is, without a doubt, one of the last things […]
Dear Lady Next to me at the Stoplight, Hi. It was great that we could meet up like this this morning. I couldn’t help but noticing that your car seems very nice. Is it new? If not, I’m impressed with the care that you have used with your car. It still looks like it just […]
Dearest Pandora, Nickelback sucks very much. No more crap from them. And as an extra special treat… ANOTHER HAIKU!!! Why Pandora Why? Just for future reference, Ke$ha also sucks.