Turkey, Dressing and a Plague

  There is no better way to follow up a lovely holiday like Thanksgiving than by becoming sick. Fortunately for me, my mother did more than just cook a turkey: she brought home a plague so that everyone could have the joy of hugging a toilet while wondering how much liquid can come out of […]

“Jersey Shore” Goes To That Great Unwatchable Cable Channel in the Sky

Tragic news has been circulating the internet for the past few days. After what seems like decades, America’s premier example of why the rest of the world hates us is coming to an end. MTV is canceling “Jersey Shore.” I would like to take a second to pay honor to the greatest Americans since our […]

Goodbye 2012 Olympics. You Will Be Missed.

After two weeks, tonight marks the end of the 2012 Olympics. It seems like just yesterday we were watching countries marching into the opening ceremonies and trying to figure out where Equatorial Guinea is located. Now, though, our time has come to an end. In honor of the end of the greatest Olympics to happen […]

Homemade Ice Cream (The Joy of Summer)

Nothing is better on a hot summer day than homemade ice cream. Actually, several things would be better. For instance, a machine that makes the summer day mild instead of hot. Also my own yacht. Homemade ice cream, though, is pretty great. In honor of this beacon of hope on a sweltering summer day, I […]

Congratulations, Street Musicians! You All Know the Same Songs!

It has been said that everyone is Nashville is a musician. I assumed this was an exaggeration until I meandered through downtown this evening. Everywhere I went on this, a Thursday evening, there were singers. They were all singing the same songs, playing the same chords, wearing the same Wrangler jeans. Well, maybe not wearing […]

Baseball and Public Intoxication: What a Pair of Bedfellows!

One of the great parts of any professional sporting event is people watching. There is a virtual smorgasbord of people from all walks of life converging into a sea of cheering fans. None of these are as entertaining, obnoxious, or obnoxiously entertaining as the drunk fan. How do you honor a group that provides so […]

The Great Basement Flood of 2012: A Haiku

With the aftermath of my Sunday evening flood still alive, I am in the midst of cleaning up the random dirt that has washed into my basement.   While this is not the most exciting activity ever, it has not crushed my poetic spirit. In fact, I wrote a haiku just for the basement flood: […]