Madman For a Day

There’s something about being dangerous that is unbelievably exciting. I suppose that’s why “Breaking Bad” was such a huge TV show. Everyone secretly wants to be a dangerous, murderous meth kingpin. Fortunately, most people are happy to live vicariously through fictional characters instead of cooking the purest meth known to man. I’ve never been considered […]

Danger Is Absolutely Not My Middle Name

11. Do something dangerous I’m not a brave person. At all. While some people laugh in the face of danger, I look at the face of danger and say, “Excuse me, sir, but would you mind stepping out-of-the-way? I would much rather go to that well-lit public area where nothing bad can happen to me.” […]

Thanks For the Death Reminders, Tennessee

Driving in Nashville is a dangerous affair. Having spent my entire driving career in Kansas City, I was used to a certain type of driver. Everyone will drive ten miles over the speed limit. Everyone will tailgate. Everyone will drive stupidly in the rain, sleet, snow, ice, hail, or any other perceivable thing that might […]

You Are My Nemesis, You Are My Car

Okay, car. This is it. After months of clashing, after all of the turmoil you have put me through, you have gone for the checkmate, trying your best to end our battles. Our epic tale began like so many before it. I, desperately in need of a car, was offered the opportunity to purchase transportation. […]

The Tale of the Manly Man and His Evil Automobile

Today, I feel like a man. I guess I need to clarify. I NORMALLY feel like a man. It’s not like I wake up in the morning and feel like a hamster or anything like that. (Well, there was that one time, but that turned out to just be a dream. I just wish I […]

Cinco De Mayo: Spanish For “Terrible Day”*

Today is just one of those days. Oddly enough, even though that last sentence says literally nothing, it is enough for people to realize what I’m talking about. This would be because everyone has experienced those days where they get up, start doing what they’re supposed to do, realize that today is going to be […]

Choose Your Own Adventure: Landonburg or Bust Part 2

After a very close vote, you people have chosen that Craig remain in the car with Mason. Although I was hoping that Craig would steal Mason’s beef jerkey and run, I’m not in control. If you haven’t read part 1, here it is. Without further ado, here is part two of “Landonburg or Bust.” Craig […]