Operation Boob Tube, Part 1

Kicking Television

(Photo credit: dhammza)

2013 Goal #28: Get On TV

Everyone wants to be on TV. There is nothing more exciting than knowing that there are possibly millions of human beings looking at your face. Sure, many of them will change the channel to something more entertaining and even more of them will only watch you because they are too lazy to get the remote from “all the way over there,” but being the focus of their attention for that brief moment is a thrill.

I myself had never been on TV, at least not real TV. In college I frequently appeared on the campus-wide station, but that just meant that I was seen by students waiting for class to start on a muted television in the lobby.

With this in mind, I made it a goal to get on TV in 2013. What better place to get on-screen, I thought, than a professional sporting event.

After a lengthy lockout of the National Hockey League, I was not surprised to find camera crews at the first game of the Nashville Predators season. In Nashville, there are three things people like: country music, deep-fried foods, and, oddly enough, hockey. Oh! I almost forgot ranch dressing! People love ranch dressing here. So we have country music, deep-fried foods, hockey, and ranch dressing. Since the Fried Food and Ranch CountryFest didn’t kick off until the summer, I figured hockey was my best shot at stardom.

I walked the sidewalk, scouting out my options. They were all there. Channel 17, Channel 2. There, away from everyone else, though, sat Channel 4. I had a clear shot as I made my way into the arena.

As I walked past the local camera crew, I made sure to put on my most serious television face. I stoically stared directly into the camera as I passed. My eyes were as penetrating as they could be. Everyone at home would be shielding themselves from the intensity of my gaze. I held my face so stationary, I was unsure if it would ever go back to its normal state. There was no way the good people of Nashville and the surrounding area would forget this face.

Satisfied with my efforts, I headed into the game.

“That marks one off of the list,” I said, mentally scribbling through the words.

“How do you know it was live, though?” my sister asked. I hadn’t thought about that. In one of my media classes in college, I recall hearing that sometimes cameras record things to be played back later. Not all cameras are broadcasting live at all times. That meant that the only TV I was guaranteed to show up on is one in the editing room of the news station.

I may be picky, but I don’t feel like that counts.

“There is a pregame show, though,” she said. Perfect! Hundreds, if not thousands, of sports fans forced to look at my shining, glorious visage! Most sports fans are far too lazy to change the channel too! It’s the perfect audience.

To be continued…

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2 thoughts on “Operation Boob Tube, Part 1

  1. Pingback: Operation Boob Tube, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo | The Life and Times of Nathan Badley…

  2. Pingback: Operation Boob Tube, Part 3: The Part of the Story Where It Ends | The Life and Times of Nathan Badley…

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