The Reason Purell Was Invented…

A Solos automatic soap dispenser found in a ba...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A public restroom is a filthy place. No matter how hard it is scrubbed, how much bleach and ammonia and Clorox go into it, you are sure to find entire civilizations of germs being built from the ground up. Little germ skyscrapers full of germs earning money to pay for their germ house in that nice germ subdivision near the good public school because no germ wants to send their little germ kids to the school on the wrong side of the germ tracks.

Knowing that germs can make one sick and eventually kill them, people began to combat these beasts. First, someone invented soap. This was a good start. Sure, people have tried to improve on soap by making it scented like lilacs and other flowery sense-assaulting aromas, but they are all the exact same thing: good old fashioned germ murdering soap.

As technology developed, so did our devices. With a great deal of thought, someone came up with a brilliant idea: it’s hard to get germs if you never touch anything.With that thought came automatic toilets, soap dispensers, faucets, paper towel dispensers and weird blow dryer things that were mounted on the wall.

Some bathrooms, though, seem to have missed the point.

There I was in a public restroom. In the interest of not sharing too much information, I will just let you know that I was in there. After all, despite the name “restroom,” we all know that only disgusting things take place in the restroom. There are very few people just taking a quick nap.

Having finished the deed and touched the disgusting, germ-coated handle of a urinal, I headed over to the sink. Since I am not a disgusting person, this is always the last step right before I head out the door. I stood there, though, confused. Someone had clearly forgotten how germs work.

They had installed an automatic soap dispenser but no automatic sink. They had forced a germy, disgusting existence on everyone that was to cross the doors of that very sanctuary of tinkle. Each person who was to go in here would turn on the sink, have a little tiny robot squirt a foamy soap on their hands, scrub, then TOUCH THE SAME HANDLE THEY HAD JUST TOUCHED PRE-HAND WASHING!

They would wash their hands only to receive the exact same germs back from the handle of the sink. It was almost as if that sink was just a resting place for germs. “Let me just lay my germs down for a second while I wash up… there we go. Come along, little germs.” The only way it would be worse would be to install a germ dispensary at the exit.

If I were to design a bathroom, it would be much better than this. Everything would be automatic. Sinks, toilets, the whole thing. Not only that, though. There would be automatic stall doors. I would put one of those automatic sliding doors from the grocery store at the entrance. Then, as you leave, everyone would receive a quick puff of Lysol on their person.

Sure, people walking by the bathroom would trigger the door, exposing the inner-sanctum for the world to see, but that’s really a small price to pay.

You can never overvalue a good pair of germ-free hands.

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18 thoughts on “The Reason Purell Was Invented…

  1. I am only in charge of cleaning my own bathroom at home which in itself is germy enough but with familar germs that I probably have met before. I have often wondered (more than I should) how anyone could stand cleaning a public “Restroom” and your post made me abandon that pastime altogether…thanks! :D

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  2. One of my friends told me she recently went into a women’s bathroom and two teen-aged girls were sitting on the floor eating their lunch. That is wrong in sooo many ways! In dirty bathrooms, I use paper towels to touch handles and doorknobs! It’s the ones that “look” clean that getcha!

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  3. I used a public restroom (only here we call them toilets… like what they really are! No napping here in Oz!) that was fully automated. About the only thing it didn’t do was wipe my arse for me. The toilet toilet paper automatically dispensed into my waiting hands, the toilet automatically flushed when I got up (god forbid if you were just wriggling slightly to get a little more comfortable for the duration), the soap dispenser automatically dispensed onto my palm, the tap automatically ran freely with a wave of my fingertips and the drier automatically dried at my very thought. Then, once the door automatically slid open and I departed, the entire cubicle automatically washed itself from inside out. The only problem with that was it was a kind of… wet… environment.

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  4. The best public restrooms I have found are in the library here. Maybe they should offer a seminar on cleanliness to all the other public places. You know what else sucks about public restrooms? Some of the “handicapped” stalls can fit my wheelchair, but since the door opens inward, I can’t shut the door. My options are pushing the wheelchair out while I carefully maneuver to the toilet, or peeing with the door open.

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  5. Hobbs and I have the same problem and some disabled toilets are small and disgusting……. I and my computer have both been receiving care and attention and I am pleased to say I can now read and comment again. Long may it last…….

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