So Long My Friend (An Ode To Hostess)

English: A Hostess CupCake, shown whole.

English: A Hostess CupCake, shown whole. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My worst fear has come true.

Well, maybe not worst fear. That would be a robot spider that can shoot lasers from each lens of its compound eyes. That would be terrible.

No, the fear of thousands of junk food eaters has come true. Hostess, the makers of Twinkies, Cupcakes, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, Donettes, and Sno Balls has announced it will officially be closing. In a letter on their website, the company announced their intent to close down all Hostess and Wonder Bread factories and distribution centers.

It is truly sad. As a tribute, I have written a poem to everyone favorite deceased snack cake company.

So Long My Friend (An Ode To Hostess)

So long my friend, farewell to you.

We’ve been through thick and thin, tis true.

The times we’ve shared shall never fade

Until the end of my dying day.

I remember the sugar rush, so strong

Of my first package of Ding Dongs

Who could forget the Cupcake cream

That squished from that stale chocolate dream?

The powdered Donettes and pink Sno Balls,

Messes created from sugar that falls.

But never fear, you won’t regret it.

As long as you aren’t diabetic.

So farewell, my friend, I bid adieu.

Through the rest of my years, I shant forget you.

Just warning, though, you soon shall be replaced

By Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

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7 thoughts on “So Long My Friend (An Ode To Hostess)

  1. Pingback: A DC Comics Tribute to Hostess Snacks | slightly insightful

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