Who Can You Trust?

Eve, the snake and the mitochondria

Eve, the snake and the mitochondria (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Things no one should ever trust:

A snake telling you to eat a piece of fruit

Someone that ends a sentence with “Trust me…”

A man with a top hat who constantly twirls his handlebar mustache

Really, anyone with a mustache

Cats

A person telling you that you’re going to buy a farm and raise rabbits and live off “the fat of the land” (Only valid if you are Lenny from Of Mice and Men)

The weatherman

Cast members of the “Jersey Shore,” particularly if they have been drinking, so really all the time

Robots

Students running for student council

A sign declaring a restaurant to have the best of anything

My niece when she tries to high-five you because she will probably just pull her hand away at the last second and make you look foolish. Three-year-olds can be mean.

Infomercials

A doctor who works out of his sweet conversion van

Scuba gear described “good as new”

Me playing Battleship

 

Things everyone should trust:

Me as long as I’m not playing Battleship

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17 thoughts on “Who Can You Trust?

  1. “I jes’ like to pet the soft thangs wit’ tha fangers.” Lenny’s kind of awesome. I totally trust Lenny unless I want to be sure he won’t break my neck in a misguided attempt to silence my screams borne of misunderstanding.

    Like this

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